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I would buy it whenever possible to have things to look at while masturbating. I had quite a collection of porn by that time. When I was in my mid twenties events finally conspired to make my desires come true. I never stopped wondering how it would feel to suck a man's cock. I knew I wasn't gay as I loved women, loved women's bodies and had my share of encounters with women as the years went by. I never imagined spitting out the cum, rather I always imagined how it would feel sliding down my throat.įor a long time I was too scared to even try to do anything about these desires. I stroked off at least daily, often more than once, while dreaming of a cock in my mouth, feeling it grow hard, tasting the precum before it finally exploded in my mouth. Time went by and I began to be more and more curious about how a cock would feel in my mouth. Not only that, but I found I imagined myself being the one on my knees much more than the other way around. I even found myself thinking of being with a man while I masturbated. Perhaps it was the fact that society seemed so down on men being with men, but whatever it was I searched out those stories.
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There were stories of men with other men there and while at first I was a bit shocked that a publication like this would have letters about gay or bi men, soon I began to realize that on one level or another they were more interesting. Ever since I had found copies of Penthouse Letters in my older brother's room I had been curious.